Star of Pretty Wild, and Kaitlyn’s new idol. She may be a hot mess sometimes, but she’s gorgeous, and crazy, and I love it :)
So, a few of my friend’s got in a car accident about a week ago, and we decided to go see them that night at the hospital. I haven’t been to a hospital in awhile, and I had a wee bit of a panic attack. So I am convinced that I have a phobia of hospitals, and I tried to find out what it was called. I didn’t find it, but I did find these absolutely ridiculous phobia names..
Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia- Fear of the number 666
Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia- Fear of long words (What kind of a sick joke is that?!)
Bogyphobia- Bogeyman or bogies (The bogeyman and bogies are different, right?!)
Hospitals- Nosocomephobia.
And I finally found my phobia name, so I’m done.
“Words fall through me, always fool me.”
The things you say and do, fool me so.
I feel like an idiot for believing everything you say.
Don’t lie to me please.
I’ve got this sinking feeling that you are going to tear me apart.
“Take this sinking boat and point it home.”
If you want to hurt me, don’t.
Just let me go while I’ve still got a chance.
I love you, I really do.
I am so sick of everyone’s bullshit.
I’m done with your lies and secrets.
I’m beyond tired of your fucked up opinions and your ridiculous judgements.
Everything you say, the things you do, they just hurt.
You’re hard and cold and I can’t handle it.
You’re fake and fucked up and I want no part in it anymore.
Can you even feel anything?
I’m done. Have a nice life making all your fucked up decisions.
I hope someday, somehow, you end up happy. I really do.
Start to be real. No one likes a fake.
Here we go again.
It’s like a never ending cycle.
I’m so happy one day,
and bored out of my mind the next.
I swear I need a circus to follow me around to keep me entertained.
I’m tired of routine. What do my days consist of?
Work, uhm, work, and then, you guessed it, work.
I’m tired of doing nothing but working. It drives me crazy.
The only break in my work only days is when I see Jordan.
And the majority of the time we just chill at his house or mine.
Fuck Elk Grove, there is nothing to do.
I can’t wait to start school.
That monkey made me laugh to pieces.
You are the definition of perfection.
I can tell you anything, you make me feel like I’m really worth it.
You believe in me and support me when others don’t.
I sleep best when I’m in your arms.
I love all your crazy accents, and you make me laugh till my face hurts every time I am with you.
Although things feel perfect, there is one problem…
I am absolutely terrified I am going to screw this.
Perfection scares me.
You scare me.
I really hope I don’t lose you.
The world is forever turning, and I am forever changing.
I change with the seasons, I change with the time.
Maybe someday I will catch up with myself.
But I doubt it.
Hopefully writing down my constantly changing thoughts will help.
We will see. :)